Hidden in Plain Sight - ADHD, ASD, and OCD - The Often Missed Diagnoses Driving Overthinking, People Pleasing, Perfectionism, Self-Doubt, and Burnout
You’re overwhelmed and tired, mentally, emotionally, maybe even physically. You overthink everything, feel like you're never doing enough, and constantly worry about what others think of you. You're stuck in cycles of procrastination, perfectionism, or people-pleasing. Social situations can feel draining, and even rest doesn’t feel restful.
You’re the one who holds it together. You care deeply and try so hard to be good and helpful, while quietly unraveling inside. You get things done, but you never feel done. You never feel rested. You never feel right.
You find yourself endlessly doom-scrolling, withdrawing from others into books or your phone, and struggling to feel motivated. If this sounds familiar and nothing seems to be helping, you’re not alone. You’ve just been hidden in plain sight.
Hidden in Plain Sight is a podcast for people-pleasing, perfectionistic, over-giving women who can't seem to find relief. Hosted by psychologist Dr. Lauren Schaefer, this show explores the hidden diagnoses behind lifelong anxiety, depression, self-doubt, shame, and burnout among women whose symptoms have been written off as "just anxiety and/or depression." This is a podcast for deep-feeling, overthinking women who’ve been called too sensitive, too anxious, too intense, or too much, when really, they’ve just been misunderstood.
We’ll talk about the perfectionism you've developed to hide your ADHD; the obsessive-compulsive personality traits, driven by anxiety, to overcompensate for neurodivergent executive dysfunction; your ability to camouflage in relationships and not knowing who you are outside of your relationships due to years of people-pleasing and masking. We'll explore how emotional intelligence, people pleasing, and hypervigilant masking can hide neurodivergent wiring, leading to late diagnosis and poor self-image.
Here you’ll find language for your exhaustion, compassion for your coping, and a mirror that finally reflects the truth: You were never too much. You were just unseen. This is a place to unmask, unravel, and understand the real reasons it’s always felt harder than it looked.
Hidden in Plain Sight - ADHD, ASD, and OCD - The Often Missed Diagnoses Driving Overthinking, People Pleasing, Perfectionism, Self-Doubt, and Burnout
Part Two: The Cost of Caring Too Much - Coming Home to Yourself
TL/DR Episode Summary: This episode explores the tender line between empathy and emotional fusion, and why so many sensitive, overgiving women lose themselves while trying to care for others. If you’ve ever felt responsible for someone else’s feelings, this one will feel like coming home to yourself.
Welcome Back!
In this second part of the series, we step into one of the most tender, defining truths of the overgiving pattern: the difference between empathy and fusion. This is the moment in therapy where clients usually go quiet, or cry, or exhale in that way that tells me something finally landed.
Because most people who care “too much” aren’t struggling with empathy at all. They’re struggling with over-identification. Emotional merging. Becoming a one-person sponge for everyone else’s feelings while slowly disappearing inside their own life.
In this episode, we explore how fusion feels in the body, why it masquerades as kindness, and how it forms in childhood, long before you had words for any of this.
We look at the nervous system mechanics behind over-attunement, the praise that rewarded your self-erasure, and the subtle ways fusion shapes your posture, your breath, your sense of self, and your relationships.
You’ll hear real-world examples that make the pattern unmistakable, the heavy-text spiral, the relationship “pause,” the emotional weather system that turns someone else’s storm into your climate. And you’ll learn why this reflex isn’t a flaw; it’s a survival strategy your body learned to keep you safe.
Most importantly, we talk about what healthy empathy actually looks like, and the sentence that becomes a turning point for so many sensitive, intuitive women:
You can care… without carrying.
If you’ve ever felt like you know everyone else’s feelings but not your own, if you’ve ever lost yourself in someone’s silence, if you’ve ever confused hyper-attunement with love, this episode is a homecoming.
Let’s walk it slowly, together.
Recommendations, Feedback, Comments? I’d love to hear from you!
With Care,
Dr. Lauren Schaefer - Hidden in Plain Sight Podcast
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