Part 1: The Cost of Caring Too Much - When Caring Turns Into Self-Abandonment Artwork

Hidden in Plain Sight - ADHD, ASD, and OCD - The Often Missed Diagnoses Driving Overthinking, People Pleasing, Perfectionism, Self-Doubt, and Burnout

You’re overwhelmed and tired, mentally, emotionally, maybe even physically. You overthink everything, feel like you're never doing enough, and constantly worry about what others think of you. You're stuck in cycles of procrastination, perfectionism, or people-pleasing. Social situations can feel draining, and even rest doesn’t feel restful.

You’re the one who holds it together. You care deeply and try so hard to be good and helpful, while quietly unraveling inside. You get things done, but you never feel done. You never feel rested. You never feel right.

You find yourself endlessly doom-scrolling, withdrawing from others into books or your phone, and struggling to feel motivated. If this sounds familiar and nothing seems to be helping, you’re not alone. You’ve just been hidden in plain sight.

Hidden in Plain Sight is a podcast for people-pleasing, perfectionistic, over-giving women who can't seem to find relief. Hosted by psychologist Dr. Lauren Schaefer, this show explores the hidden diagnoses behind lifelong anxiety, depression, self-doubt, shame, and burnout among women whose symptoms have been written off as "just anxiety and/or depression." This is a podcast for deep-feeling, overthinking women who’ve been called too sensitive, too anxious, too intense, or too much, when really, they’ve just been misunderstood.

We’ll talk about the perfectionism you've developed to hide your ADHD; the obsessive-compulsive personality traits, driven by anxiety, to overcompensate for neurodivergent executive dysfunction; your ability to camouflage in relationships and not knowing who you are outside of your relationships due to years of people-pleasing and masking. We'll explore how emotional intelligence, people pleasing, and hypervigilant masking can hide neurodivergent wiring, leading to late diagnosis and poor self-image.

Here you’ll find language for your exhaustion, compassion for your coping, and a mirror that finally reflects the truth: You were never too much. You were just unseen. This is a place to unmask, unravel, and understand the real reasons it’s always felt harder than it looked.

All Episodes

Hidden in Plain Sight - ADHD, ASD, and OCD - The Often Missed Diagnoses Driving Overthinking, People Pleasing, Perfectionism, Self-Doubt, and Burnout

Part 1: The Cost of Caring Too Much - When Caring Turns Into Self-Abandonment

November 19, 2025 • Dr. Lauren Schaefer • Season 1 • Episode 8

Dr. Lauren Schaefer unpacks the psychology of overgiving and explores the quiet slide from compassion into self-erasure. We explore when empathy becomes vigilance, when connection becomes labor, and when our nervous system mistakes intensity for intimacy. Through attachment, trauma bonding, and neurodivergent wiring, we’ll look at why these patterns form and the addictive push-pull that keeps so many deep feelers stuck in relationships that drain them.

We’ll learn why “caring harder” becomes a reflex, and why certain patterns feel magnetic even when they’re painful. A validating exploration of overgiving, for anyone who feels like they’re always managing the emotional weather around them.

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With warmth,

Dr. Lauren Schaefer