From Triggered to Grounded: Why Calm Feels So Hard (and How to Find It Anyway) Artwork

Hidden in Plain Sight - ADHD, ASD, and OCD - The Often Missed Diagnoses Driving Overthinking, People Pleasing, Perfectionism, Self-Doubt, and Burnout

Let's see if this fits for you. You’re overwhelmed and tired, mentally, emotionally, maybe even physically. You overthink everything, feel like you're never doing enough, and constantly worry about what others think. You're often stuck in cycles of procrastination, perfectionism, or people-pleasing. Social situations can feel draining, and even rest doesn’t feel restful.

You’re the one who holds it together. You care deeply and try so hard to be good and helpful, while quietly unraveling inside. You get things done, but you never feel done. You never feel rested. You never feel right.

You find yourself endlessly scrolling, withdrawing from others, or struggling to feel motivated. If this sounds familiar, you’re not broken, and you’re not alone. You’ve just been hidden in plain sight.

Hidden in Plain Sight is a podcast for people-pleasing, perfectionistic, over-giving women who can't seem to find relief. Hosted by psychologist Dr. Lauren Schaefer, this show explores the often-missed diagnoses behind lifelong anxiety, burnout, and shame in women who’ve spent years masking often-missed diagnoses that are often labeled as "just anxiety." This is a podcast for the women who’ve been called too sensitive, too anxious, too intense, or too much, when really, they’ve just been misunderstood.

We’ll talk about the perfectionism you've developed to hide your ADHD. Obsessive-compulsive personality traits that were mistaken for a “strong work ethic.” Autism that’s camouflaged by emotional intelligence, people pleasing, and hypervigilant masking.

Here you’ll find language for your exhaustion, compassion for your coping, and a mirror that finally reflects the truth: You were never too much. You were just unseen. This is a place to unmask, unravel, and understand the real reasons it’s always felt harder than it looked.

All Episodes

Hidden in Plain Sight - ADHD, ASD, and OCD - The Often Missed Diagnoses Driving Overthinking, People Pleasing, Perfectionism, Self-Doubt, and Burnout

From Triggered to Grounded: Why Calm Feels So Hard (and How to Find It Anyway)

November 02, 2025 • Dr. Lauren Schaefer • Season 1 • Episode 7

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Ever feel like you know you’re overreacting but can’t stop? Dr. Lauren Schaefer breaks down why frustration hits harder for sensitive, high-alert nervous systems, and how small shifts in thought, breath, and rhythm can rebuild your frustration tolerance from the inside out.

What if your frustration isn’t a flaw but a signal? In this episode, Dr. Lauren Schaefer unpacks the science and psychology behind an overactive alert system: the blend of hormones, beliefs, and attachment that turns small stress into big emotion. You’ll learn how to spot your body’s “I can’t stand this” loop and rewire it into calm, compassion, and trust. This episode bridges cognitive therapy and body-based regulation to help you move from reactive to resilient.

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With warmth,

Dr. Lauren Schaefer